On December 11th, just one week after your birthday, my family and I will be taking family portraits, with the main one being with all of the kids, grandkids and great grandkids. They wanted to take it on 12/4, but that will be a rough day for me. Every year, your birthday is not a good day for me. In fact, the week leading up to it is not a good week. Depression kicks in and lasts for quite a while.
Anyway, the picture won’t really be complete since you won’t be in the picture. I’ll definitely miss you not being there. The hole in my heart will probably get a little bit bigger. But if you ever forgive me and choose to be a part of my life, that huge hole will just be filled with that much love. I pray for you and the situation all the time. Whatever God’s will, I know it will be done.
Just know that you are loved and missed. I hope that everything is going well in your life and that you are succeeding in all of your plans.
Whenever you’re ready, if you ever get ready, I’m always here. I know I cannot make up for the past. I just want to be a part of your life and get to know you. I messed up a lot back then and trust me, I’ve paid the price and I still feel like I’m paying for it at times. But the past is the past. I’ve learned and I’ve grown. I’m not the same person I was back then. That was a terrible time in my life that almost broke me; almost killed me in fact. But I am stronger for it.
Here is an encouraging post. I hope you enjoy it.
http://www.themastersvessel.com/encouraging-words/that-was-then-this-is-now
Anyway, my email address is
da*****@ya***.com
. I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Renee
