It’s almost Thanksgiving…yet another holiday that I will smile and laugh outwardly, but on the inside, my heart will be breaking because my family is not complete. The son I always wanted is miles away, instead of here, where he should be.
I don’t know if you will ever see this site or if you will ever know the depth of my love for you, but I do love you Dominique and miss you more and more every day. I know you are angry that I dared to contact you, but you have no idea how long I’ve been searching for you. I don’t know what you’ve been told about why/how you ended up with Michelle, but there is so much to that you or Michelle don’t even know. There are reasons that weren’t fully explained to Michelle the day I handed over custody to her. That was one of the worst days in my life. You were, you are, the son I always wanted, but your life was in danger and so was mine. I was being abused on a daily basis, and you even suffered abuse at the hands of the same person. Since I didn’t know if I would be on this earth much longer (my life was threatened), I wanted to get you out of harm’s way. I was very young, and admit I didn’t really think my decision through, but isn’t that what most young people do? 🙂 I’m in no way trying to excuse this situation. I just want you to understand.
Contrary to what you might think, when I found you on MySpace was not my first attempt to find you. I had been searching for years, and those searches always ended in dead ends. I was supposed to always know where you were and you were always supposed to be a part of my life. That is something Michelle & I talked about. I knew I wouldn’t be able to be a mother to you, but I still wanted to be a part of your life, and for you to be a part of mine. But unfortunately, things didn’t work out that way. Things happened, you guys moved, I moved, phone numbers were changed, and contact was just lost.
All I want now is to be a part of your life and for you to know this side of your family who love you dearly. Not only me and Shay, your sister, but all of your aunts, uncles and cousins. I know this is a lot for you to deal with, and trust me, there is so much more you don’t know. I know you’re angry and hurt, but until you know that the full story, please do not try and convict me without all the facts. It is also my prayer that you will one day find it in your heart to forgive me. (Luke 6:37)
